I know whats coming

When to stop being blind and foolish and when to begin trying to live for real. Do we ever truly see what is in front of us? Not really at all. We tend to see something or someone and think there is no way that this can be for me. We get so wrapped up in the fact that we have been hurt and our damaged and bruised hearts can't take anymore we assume that we are no longer entitled to be happy. Bullox! I have been so wrong in my life over so many things it starts to drown me. The overwhelming feeling of choking on the pain that I cause myself and others.

I have sacrificed so much in my life to the desctruction of my happiness. How can I be so self destructive and yet so aware? How can I be so blind to the fact that someone can care for me. It hurts to find out after that through your blindness you have ruined your chance for somethng you have wanted for such a long time. But yet here I am again. Seems like the majority of my thoughts are about me and how tortured if feel or what i should do now that things have gone wrong.

I guess there comes a time when you throw your hands up and realize that maybe alone is better. If I don't put myself out there and don't try in some areas then maybe I won't hurt the people that I care about the most. To have such an ugly soul with such good intentions a contradiction of such an epic scale. I am so sorry that I allowed someone to hurt you. I am sorry that the someone was me.

I try so hard to protect my friends. Too be so much better than the men that have come before me and yet the same intentions and attitude that makes me a great guy also makes me hurtful. Mojo knows better than anyone about that. So does Angel. I guess if I listed off all the people I have offended and hurt in my life it would read like a war memorial.

If I was going to offer advice to anyone that was in the slightest interested in me it would be to run, run as fast as you can! You are in the presence of a Demon. A creature of such anger and rage that the pain he causes is the purest form of pleasure for himself. Why would anyone love that? How could they? If you value your lives, sanity and hearts than I send this message out through the ages as a warning to you and to others that may follow. Do not wake this beast that lays beneath the service because it waits and it hungers for your tears and cries of woe and worry. The exquisit pain that runs from your soul as you are stretched out for the world to see. Without guard and without flesh. Hide and cowar in fear. You do not want to trust the Priest. He is not your friend he is not your savior. Servo Vestri
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