Letter to my daddy

Hello Daddy,

This is your son did you forget me daddy? I am the boy that kept you captivated with my little smile. The wiggle worm that made you laugh. That pink bundle of joy that took a pee on you while changing my diaper. The son you always wanted to have.

I guess the love you had for me wasn't enough for you to want to protect me. Why did you do it daddy? Why did you leave? Was I not cute enough? Did I do something wrong? I tried to keep your attention daddy. I tried to be the son you wanted. Was it mom? Was the alcohol stronger than your love for us?

I don't understand daddy why you couldn't stay. I needed you daddy. To hold me and to love me. To play catch with me daddy that would have been great. It would have been so much fun to run with you daddy. To be held up on your shoulders. I would have loved for you to chase the monsters away. You missed so much for the sake of a drink.

I grew up without you daddy. When I had my first home run you weren't there. When I made my first tackle you were nowhere to be found. I graduated daddy and looked up to see your proud smile and all i could see were strangers. I had a son daddy and needed your advice on how to be a good father but the room was always quiet. I got married daddy and I had to stand alone. She broke my heart daddy and you weren't there to help pick up the pieces. Why did you do it daddy? Why did you leave? I guess the thought of having to be strong for me was just too much.

You stopped drinking daddy cause you wanted to be my hero. Why did you go back to it and why did it have to kill you? So many years and you denied me so much. I am a man daddy. Father to three sons. They are happy and strong. You would be so proud of them. But they don't know you daddy. You aren't even a memory. you are just a story other people tell me to give me comfort.

I love you daddy and always will. Despite the pain and despite the loneliness of you being gone. I learned to be a father daddy. Better than you in many ways. Do you ever think of me daddy cause I always think of you......Love your son, YOU